I don’t show up on people’s gaydars.
Which is interesting, because I really don’t have a gaydar myself.
One of my friends who is openly bi has a theory that I’ve developed this subconsciously because my parents are overly homophobic and have extremely sensitive gaydars.
Hmm.
I’m proud to be participating in this in my community, fighting for my own rights as well as many others in the world.
at my mom. Really, truly.
Here’s the story:
I “liked” a picture on Facebook the other day, and it was of a bald girl in the arms of a rather long haired boy, dancing at a Prom. The story behind it was that the girl had been struggling with cancer and one of her wishes had been to go to Prom, and the boy had taken her.
My mom saw this on her newsfeed and instantly came running to me, demanding me to take it off of my facebook, now.
I asked her why, utterly confused. It may look like a weird photo but it wasn’t depicting anything wrong, right?
And then she asked me why I would “like” a picture of lesbians dancing.
I calmed myself down pretty quickly and was able to explain to her exactly what the photo was depicting before she blew herself up, but then she told me: “I’m so relieved! I was thinking, it couldn’t be that my daughter supports these kind of relationships!”
And then she left, leaving me to stew things over in my mind.
As I have already said, my mother is the more understanding and open minded of my parents. That she would come to me to demand that I not support homosexual relationships hurts me. As does the fact that she judged a photo without even caring about the back story, without even considering for a moment that a bald woman might not be lesbian.
I don’t even get that stereotype, honestly speaking.
This is why I don’t ever really consider coming out to my parents, at least not now.
On the other hand, I just got into college. I hope you all are doing fine as well :)
As always,
Jane Doe
that I have friends backing me up in this.
My friends are amazing. Really, truly.
So far I’ve only “come out” to five people and I think I’ll leave it at that for a while, but the support from those that I’ve told is helping me immensely.
My sister and I are still dancing around the topic and have really not discussed sexuality ever since that conversation months ago. But my friends - my amazing friends - don’t blink an eye if I randomly decide to start talking about good looking girls (or guys) and my admission of my sexuality hasn’t changed our relationships one bit, if it hasn’t made us closer.
I really do love my friends - I haven’t actually told them all but I do love them for accepting me for who I am, for not questioning me even if my admission might have come out as a surprise for them. Apparently I’m the type of person that no one can tell that I’m bisexual… interestingly enough.
On the other hand, my sister still gives me strange looks whenever I mention a girl as “hot.” Don’t get me wrong - we’re still extremely close - but we just don’t breach the topic of sexuality. Ever.
Ah well. I hope you all are doing fine. :)
As always,
Jane Doe
I came out to my sister.
And regrettably so, since her reaction wasn’t all that great.
We had been talking about LGBT rights and my sister had wondered aloud about how I had become such an outspoken supporter while my parents were completely homophobic.
“Well, I have quite a few friends who are gay, lesbian, or biseuxal,” I told her, “I was a bit scared for a while but really, this is just discrimination.”
“And I suppose you’re lesbian too?” my sister joked, and naturally, I had to say something back.
“Actually, bisexual, but you know, nearly the same thing, everyone’s weirded out etc…” I said jokingly, and my sister stared at me.
“I have a feeling you’re not joking here… please tell me you are?” she pleaded, but I knew I couldn’t pull out and lie to her…
“Yeah, I’m Bi,” I said, and I smiled at her.
My sister freaked out, begged me to try and “not be, please, for me?” Until I finally got it into her head that sexuality wasn’t a choice. We ended that conversation on an iffy note, both of us decidedly uncomfortable in our differing points of view.
The two of us are pretty close, but it’s been over a week since then and my sister won’t even talk to me about “the boy” (she’s crushed on him for a while) now. Oh, we’ve talked about other things, but when the subject turns around to crushes and likes, she clams up. And looks uncomfortable.
It’s nice to know my sister’s willing to keep my secret for now, but it hurts that she’s so uncomfortable and (the hell with it) scared of “what” I am. I wish I knew what to do.
As Always,
Jane Doe
we started talking about same sex marriages and its being banned in certain states in the United States. While I am a closeted bisexual, I am somewhat of an outspoken LGBT supporter at my school, and during this discussion I started arguing with another student, who is staunchly against anything related to LGBT.
“It’s unnatural,” he argued, “and it’s obviously a choice, to engage in sexual acts with members of the same sex.”
I quickly replied with, “Who would choose to be part of a group that is discriminated against? Yes, it is a choice to engage in sexual acts with members of the same sex. Heck, sex itself, even with member of the opposite gender, is a choice. Attraction, on the other hand, is not. You don’t choose who you’re attracted to; sexuality is not a choice!”
“Allowing gay marriages will encourage more people to be gay,” he argued back, and I replied again with:
“It only encourages people to “come out,” as you call it. It’s only because society is so against LGBT that people claim they’re not!”
I really, truly wanted to add an “and I should know!” to my argument, but no, not yet, not when I have too much to lose.
I wish I could do more, to stop this discrimination throughout, well, basically all walks of society. But as it still stands, I am a seventeen year old girl who is a closeted bisexual, albeit only because of my homophobic parents.
This discrimination is horrible. And I hope everyone will eventually understand.
As Always,
Jane Doe
because I didn’t like the people who liked me and the people I liked didn’t like me back either. Kind of sad really. That and because if I dated a girl my parents would probably disown me.
My parents are not just homophobic - they’re racist as well. They want me to (in the future) date only people who are:
Not to mention, they think people shouldn’t date until they finish high school. Hence the no-dating policy.
Oh, and Mom, Dad? Guess what? I’m not Christian, I’m Deist and have been for a while now. Guess who brought that around? Yeah. You.
Funny how you think that I’m not natural and will go to Hell.
As Always,
Jane Doe
Seventeen.
